Started off in going one way, then went another, brought it back... It's staying as is... especi

A few days ago I made a post about coming out as Catholic… and since, I have already felt myself backsliding. I try and hide what I think and feel in order to stay under the radar because for some reason, I have grown a great dislike for confrontation, even more than my dislike of social interaction. I fear that I will put people off because of my faith… for those that just meet me, through social networking sites, it is becoming painfully obvious… that I am being a real chicken shit. I remember, in the 80’s I had a big problem with the street evangelists, condemning me and all my friends to Hell because… well, I am not really sure why we were to be… but they were certain we were and they had NO problem telling us that… I heard a lot of that in the 90’s as well.. and with the assholes in the Westboro Baptist Church, Christianity almost has to be hidden away in fear of being associated with that kind of hate and that elitist, “holier-than-thou” attitudes that leave a really bad taste in the mouths of many… especially those that I came up with, who are still Atheists or have found a path in other faiths… but Christianity has developed a real black eye… That it condemns all people to Hell for being such terrible sinners… Then I have to remind others… “um, we, no mater the denomination, do not have that kind of authority to say who is going to Hell” and furthermore, That is NOT our job. What we should be doing is trying to out-Love one another… out-accept others… We should compete to see who we make feel better and help out of tough times… We should really make that the biggest participation sport there is… Loving one another! That is the message behind Christianity… NOT that other bullshit, that hateful elitist shit that pushes people away… I mean let’s face it, being Christian should be pretty punk rock… Help those around us and spread messages of what should/could be done to improve life for everyone… Love and hope at HIGH volume. People joke about it, but yeah, Jesus was pretty punk rock. So back to me slipping and sliding on ice… Lately I have been dealing with an internal crisis… But in the grad scheme of things, it has absolutely zero affect on what I am trying to accomplish… It is not on any level of my game plan. So I need to let that shit go. There are some really cool people whom I encounter that I don’t wanna frighten away (because of the reputation of Christians, mainly the Fundamentalists… but yes, even from within The Catholic Church)… that though their life, their endeavors, their outlook, what brings them joy, their overall being… I still think you’re the bee’s knees… What pleases you may not be my cup of tea, anymore and is becoming more and more foreign to me as I get older… But I look at you only with love. I may not understand any of it.. But it is not for me to judge. The more I think about it, I think I want to show that is okay to be yourself AND be faithful.. And what ever you chose now only affects now… Not tomorrow… and that judgement should not be on any of our plates… Only that desire to reach out and at least shake hands… And even better, offer a hug… there are some (shit, there are many) who avoid Christians by any means necessary… and trust me, I know exactly why you do… And it is not so much your job to accept us… But our job to prove that we are accept, respect, and love you for you and your character… and also to tell the Other Christian folk, to simmer on condemning others to Hell… Fuck simmer.. we need to STOP it altogether. We, as Christians, need to remember that Jesus spent his life trying to guide and help, and he associated with, and called the “least of them” his friends… Hookers, thieves, and all around shady people (you know, the fun lot)… who he helped find a better way… He didn’t walk down the street condemning them all to Hell… He offered them a path to a blissful and peaceful life.. here AND after. So I need to quit backsliding, and hiding my faith… But say hey, I am Chance Rush, I am a Catholic, a Christian, and I am here to tell you Jesus, and I love you (sorry, I do love the movie Orgazmo).. But yeah, if you take issue with my faith, I am sorry, I don’t want to change back… I wanna keep moving forward… But I can also say, I am here if/when you wanna talk.. Be it Faith or horror movies or punk rock… I am here to help… NOT condemn… when I fear that people, friends, family will be put off by my faith, instead of backsliding/hiding my faith, I need to remind myself: Matthew 10:21-22

21 Brother will hand over brother to death, and the father his child; children will rise up against parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by all because of my name, but whoever endures to the end will be saved. And I know I can’t win you all over, but I will still be around when you need me. But enough backsliding… Forward! (hopefully together) John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.